


Mixing Metaphors

by anonymouse_fiction



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, Humor, Pre-Time Skip, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-13 17:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymouse_fiction/pseuds/anonymouse_fiction
Summary: When Hilda overhears a late-night conversation between Byleth and Seteth, all the wrong assumptions are made. When those assumptions are shared, all hell breaks loose.





	Mixing Metaphors

**Author's Note:**

> A little background to this fic: I made my unit in my Blue Lions run a Wyvern Lord, so a little bit of that influence is present here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy!

“Thank you again for your help this evening, Seteth. I hadn’t anticipated that grading exams would be so taxing.” Byleth said, trying to fight off a yawn.

With the amount of missions Byleth and her class had been taking on recently, she had been extremely busy. So busy, in fact, she’d completely forgotten about the lesson plans she had yet to create and the exams she had to grade. With the end of the month drawing near, she’d turned to her fellow professors for help. Unfortunately, they were in as much the same boat as she.

In a last attempt, she’d sought out Seteth’s help, and much to her surprise, he’d agreed. He’d claimed he could use helping her mark exams as a way to evaluate her current skill as a professor… but since she’d spent more time training with him, Byleth had come to realize that Seteth wasn’t as harsh as he tried to appear. Which is why they were now seated at her desk in her dormitory room, both tired from a long day of grading papers that had stretched well into the night.

“Well, I would consider it effort well spent, seeing all the high marks your students earned.” Seteth replied, reaching his arms up for a long stretch. He came out of the stretch to lean back comfortably in his seat before giving Byleth an appraising look. “And in all honesty, you have been pushing yourselves quite hard. I do appreciate the effort, but you must take your health into account.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but a class full of ambitiously helpful students that don’t know when to quit is a bit harder to manage than you’d think.” Byleth sighed, leaning forward to fold her arms on the desk. “In some ways, I feel as though I’m herding lion cubs.” She muttered with a fond smile.

“An interesting analogy, but a true one, nonetheless. I must admit, I am rather impressed with your student’s progress. It appears I may have been hasty in my judgement in your ability.” Seteth offered.

“I can’t blame you for it, really. It’s like you said, I have no concrete record of myself, let alone a record of teaching. But, helping to train new recruits for my father’s guild of mercenaries has proven to be a well of practical experience.” Byleth managed around a yawn, not going unnoticed by Seteth.

“I suppose that is true. Now, I hate to just dash out, but it is getting late. And it would seem you are in dire need of rest, as well. So, I think it best to bid you goodnight and be on my way, Professor.” Seteth said as he rose from his seat. Byleth nodded, rising from her seat as well to see him to the door.

“Really, thank you again for your help tonight. I was hoping to come train in flying with you again tomorrow, but it probably wouldn’t be wise of me to do so in my current state.” She confessed, leaning against her doorjamb. Seteth paused, turning back to her with a questioning look.

“If I may ask, why is it you come to me specifically for flying training? Manuela, for all her less… scholarly traits, is a skilled flyer.” Seteth asked, crossing his arms in thought. “And I am certain she must be easier to track down that I am.”

Seteth waited for a response, confused as to why it was taking so long for the professor to reply. She was avoiding his gaze, which was very unusual for one of the few women that would meet his looks head-on on any given day. His confusion only grew when a blush began to dust her cheeks. She looked back up to him with worry in her eyes.

“You… promise not to laugh?” She asked quietly. Seteth nodded a quick yes, waiting for her to continue. She took a steadying breath before continuing. “Well, I’ve always admired Wyvern Riders. Their skill with a multitude of weapons, a strong partnership with such powerful creatures, and having a mastery over the skies… it’s something I’ve always wanted to learn about, at the very least. And, as far as I know, you are the only faculty member that specializes in wyvern riding, hence why I come to you.” Byleth finished, looking to Seteth for his response. 

“That is fair enough, I suppose. But I must ask, have you ever flown before? Many people say they wish to train to become a flying class, only to back out the second they leave the ground. Or, in the most extreme cases, as soon as they come face to face with their future mount.” Seteth explained, watching Byleth closely.

“If they weren’t prepared for such basic things, then clearly they didn’t train thoroughly enough.” Byleth replied, sighing at the thought of backing out for such silly reasons. Seteth, taken aback by such a simple response, shook his head in disbelief.

“So you say. But there are some things that study and training can never prepare you for. Have you actually been around wyverns before, Professor? They are quite intimidating for the uninitiated.” Seteth asked, looking her in the eye.

“Perhaps, but would you really consider me ‘uninitiated’ at this point, Seteth?” Byleth countered. She met his look steadily, waiting for a reply. “You’ve been the one training me, after all.” Seteth cocked an eyebrow at that.

“A fair point. Alright then…” Seteth let his hands come to rest at his hips, a common stance he took up when he was lecturing. “When saddling a wyvern, what is the first thing you must do?”

“Ensure the wyvern is tied to a securely anchored structure to prevent it from throwing its head around. If the wyvern spooks easily, it would be best to do a solid tie down.” Byleth replied, crossing her arms confidently. She knew a test when she encountered one.

“Correct. And the saddle: do place it on the wyvern’s back immediately?” Seteth continued, leaning forward just slightly. He didn’t miss the flash of anger in Byleth’s eyes.

“Absolutely not!” Byleth spat, making Seteth back up a bit in surprise. “You have to make sure the scales are free of dirt or debris, so that they aren’t subjected to unnecessary wear. After that comes the saddle pad, and _then_ the saddle.” She finished with a huff. After a few beats of silence, Seteth relaxed, allowing his arms to rest at his sides.

“I am glad you have been paying attention to the basics, at the very least. I must admit, I was not anticipating such vitriol in that last response.” He said with a chuckle. Byleth sighed in return.

“After some of the horrible injuries I’ve heard can come from such an easily preventable thing, can you blame me? Especially since it’s one of the earliest things taught to potential wyvern riders.” She explained, letting herself relax as well, though she kept her arms crossed.

“Well said. I’m curious to see how much of my training you have actually retained. Would you object to a few more questions?” Seteth asked. Byleth immediately noticed the unsaid challenge and gave him a little smirk.

“Try me.”

* * *

“Ugh, WHY do I keep letting myself stay out this late?! It’s so much harder to sneak back into the dorms like this…” Hilda grumbled as she snuck her way through the monastery grounds.

She was returning from a shopping trip that had run longer than she’d anticipated. Had she managed to get more of her favorite perfume? Yes. Was she regretting the potential consequences of staying out until curfew was about to go into effect? Also yes.

As she crept along, she was surprised to see what looked like Seteth and Byleth talking. She cocked her head out of curiosity, trying to think of why they would be chatting together so late at night. Despite a general lack of expressiveness, the professor was actually great for conversation; everyone knew that! But still, being up so late talking with Seteth, of all people?

‘Oh, this I’ve _got_ to hear.’ Hilda thought with a smirk.

Even though she knew the detour could get her caught, she snuck as close as she dared, being sure to stay out of sight. When she finally managed to get within earshot, she ducked into the darkest corner she could find. She peeked out just enough to be able to watch their conversation continue.

“I have to say, you certainly seem to know what you are talking about. You have even brought up a few things I did not know about! But the question is, can you actually perform as you say you can?” Seteth teased, crossing his arms and giving Byleth a smirk. Byleth laughed.

“Are you still not convinced? I’d be more than happy to demonstrate what I know, with your supervision, of course.” She replied, pushing off from the doorjamb to stand up straight. Seteth chuckled.

From her hiding spot, Hilda’s eyebrows went up in surprise. She’d never seen the professor so cocky before! And was Seteth _flirting _with her?! What on _earth_ were they talking about?

“You know what? I will gladly take you up on that. If you think you can handle it, I would love to see you riding my wyvern.”

Hilda’s jaw dropped.

“Well, since tomorrow is Saturday, I’ll be seeing you then?” Byleth asked.

“I will be looking forward to it. Goodnight, Professor.” Seteth replied, offering her a soft smile.

“To you as well. And Seteth?”

“Yes?”

“Please, just call me Byleth.” She asked, glad to see Seteth nod in understanding.

“Very well. Goodnight, Byleth.”

And with that, Seteth began his walk back to his room. The professor took a moment to stretch before she turned back into her room, closing the door behind her as though nothing had happened. Hilda turned into her hiding spot completely and covered her face with her hands to muffle a squeak of embarrassment.

‘Oh my GODESS I did not just hear that!’ Hilda thought frantically.

Not knowing what else to do, Hilda made a mad dash to her dormitory room. At this point, she could care less about being caught; she had to figure this whole situation out with someone else, and she had to do it NOW. She darted up the stairs, taking care to slow down so the floorboards of the dorm’s second floor wouldn’t creak beneath her. She came to Marianne’s room first, but she’d feel terrible for waking her up so late. So, Hilda snuck down to the next person she knew she could talk to about this.

“Claude! CLAUDE! I know you aren’t asleep in there yet! You’d better answer this door or so help me!” Hilda whispered as loud as she could, knocking lightly on the door. It didn’t take long for the person in question to respond.

“Hilda? Whoa there, easy girl! What in the world are you on about this time?” Claude asked, noting that she was still in her school uniform. She flapped her hands at him in an attempt to get him to lower his voice without making any more noise, looking down the corridor and then back down to him nervously.

“Keep it down, you idiot! If we get caught because you’re being loud, I can’t tell you what I just heard!” Hilda hissed, clearly antsy over whatever it was. Claude chuckled in amusement.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What’s got you so wound up?” Claude whispered back; arms crossed as he waited for a reply.

When Hilda looked down the corridor one last time to check for any eavesdroppers, Claude started to smirk. Whatever this was, it was _big_. She came closer to him to minimize how loud she’d have to talk. Claude bent down a bit so it would be easier to hear her. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she began.

“Well, you _see_…

* * *

Ashe wasn’t sure what was going on, but the moment he’d stepped into the dining hall, people seemed to be watching him. The chatter was at its usual level, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being scrutinized. Self-consciously, he glanced down at himself to see if he’d forgotten to button his shirt all the way, or something else along those lines. When he didn’t see anything amiss, he brought a hand up to comb through his hair, just in case it was being unruly.

Shaking off the feeling as best he could, he made his way over to the counter and picked up one of the breakfast plates. The smell of freshly cooked eggs, bacon, and potato hash almost made him forget about the feeling of being watched entirely. He went to join the rest of the Blue Lions class at their usual table, glad to see everyone else enjoying their breakfast as well. Bidding everyone a good morning, he took his seat, ready to dig into his meal. But as he was doing so, he could have sworn he heard a pair of girls walking past behind their table giggling over something; he was able to catch ‘professor’ and ‘their class’ out of it.

“Hey, um… has anyone else been getting odd looks this morning?” Ashe asked, reaching for the pepper and salt in front of him.

“Well, come to think of it, yeah! Actually, people have been watching our table pretty closely. I wonder why that is…” Annette answered, slicing into the cinnamon roll she’d chosen for breakfast.

“I haven’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.” Dedue said before taking another bite of his eggs.

“Me neither. But I definitely have noticed some whispering.” Ingrid said as she cut into the sausage on her plate. “Sylvain, do you have any ideas?”

“Who, me? Nah. For once, I’m not caught up on the latest gossip. Whatever’s going on, it must have happened last night.” Sylvain replied with a shrug. Felix shot him a glare.

“What did you do this time?” Felix grumbled.

“Nothing! Geez, a guy accidentally causes a little dust-up once and suddenly he’s the house troublemaker.” Sylvain sighed, crossing his arms. Felix rolled his eyes at him before responding.

“Once a week, more like it.”

“Hey!”

“Alright you two, that’s enough. I’m sure whatever it is, it’s just a silly little rumor. They come just as quickly as they go, do they not?” Dimitri said, hoping to nip a brewing squabble in the bud. Mercedes giggled from her spot.

“That’s true! There seems to be a new rumor just about every day. Oh! Come to think of it, I’ve actually heard something that might be getting our class all this attention. Would you all like to hear?” Mercedes offered.

A few looks were exchanged around the table before an affirmative was reached. Mercedes took a sip of her tea before she settled into her seat to tell her story.

“Alright then, here’s how the story goes! Rumor has it that our Professor has a date with Seteth today.” Mercedes began, glancing around the table to gauge her classmate’s reactions. When she saw the look of utter disbelief on their faces, she couldn’t help but giggle. “What’s more, they planned all this in the dead of night, with Seteth having snuck out to her room after curfew. They were even flirting with each other!” Mercedes finished, chuckling at how practically everyone at the table had frozen at the news.

“Wait, wait, wait! There’s no way that’s true! Seteth doesn’t _flirt_, not with anyone!” Sylvain exclaimed once he’d processed that information. Mercedes shook her head.

“That’s not what the rumor says! And besides, they were specifically talking about…” Mercedes looked around the table mischievously before leaning in just a bit. “_Riding his wyvern_.” Mercedes finished, trying to keep from laughing as everyone at the table lost it.

Poor Dimitri, who’d chosen a bad time to take a drink of his water, wound up spluttering at the mention of the innuendo, coughing a good majority of it back out. Dedue was more concerned with making sure Dimitri was ok, but a bit of a blush had made its way across the bridge of his nose. Ashe and Annette both had gone bright red, eyes wide at the thought of their professor speaking so scandalously. Ingrid tried her best to keep a calm expression, but her blush said otherwise. Felix had groaned and covered his face with his hands, and Sylvain was so shocked all he could do was bring a hand to cover his mouth, his expression changing between skeptical and contemplative.

“A-alright, let’s not be hasty now! Even _if_ this is true, who the Professor choses to… _be_ with is not our business!” Dimitri managed around a few coughs, still trying to get his bearings. Dedue nodded.

“She is a grown woman, after all. Who she chooses to associate with is her decision, not ours.” Dedue added, glad to see Dimitri’s coughing beginning to subside.

“Ok, it might be her decision, but it’s a TERRIBLE one! Seteth?! Of all the people she could… what in the world is that woman thinking?!” Sylvain spat, finally having snapped out of his stupor.

“Look, I’m not too thrilled with this little revelation, either. But unfortunately, the boar is right.” Felix griped.

“Yeah! No matter how questionable _we_ think her choice is, we should respect it. She is our teacher, after all.” Annette replied, Ashe nodding in agreement with her.

“Ingrid, _please_ tell me you don’t agree with these people!” Sylvain pleaded, looking to her hopefully. Ingrid sighed.

“Do I agree with this? No. Is it my business? Also no. So, I’m choosing to stay out of this for my sanity’s sake.” Ingrid replied, choosing to go back to her breakfast.

“You people are _insane_! We’re really going to sit idly by while our dear Professor wastes valuable time and energy on pursuing Seteth?! The man’s a cold fish, for crying out loud!” Sylvain argued, voice rising in disbelief. Felix shook his head.

“And how would you propose we go about stopping her, hm?” Felix said, giving Sylvain a sidelong glance.

“Simple, really. We, by which I mean I, go talk some much-needed sense into her! After all, I am the one with the most dating experience here.” Sylvain replied, only to be met with a scoff from Felix.

“Quite an odd way to say ‘troublemaking’, Sylvain.”

“You really doubt my experience?”

“Sylvain, didn’t you flirt with a scarecrow once?” Ashe cut in, hoping to prevent a fight. Felix’s eyebrows shot up at that.

“A scarecrow? You’re kidding!” Felix said with a laugh.

“I-it was once! And an accident, at that!” Sylvain squawked, cheeks burning.

“He’s not kidding.” Ingrid added, trying to hide a grin. Sylvain shot her a glare.

“Ingrid, you wound me! How many people did you tell that story to?!” Sylvain whined.

“I didn’t tell anyone. I was reminding you of all your ‘dating experience’ and people overheard.” Ingrid said with a shrug.

“You really flirted with a scarecrow?” Annette asked, trying not to giggle along with Mercedes.

“That’s… definitely a new one, Sylvain.” Dimitri sighed.

“Alright, you know what?! I don’t have to sit here and take this. I’m gonna go talk the Professor out of a big mistake, with or without help!” Sylvain snapped, rising up from his seat as he did so.

“Absolutely not, Sylvain! For all we know, Seteth could actually be quite a different person in private! We are not going to interfere!” Dimitri shot back, rising out of his seat as well.

The argument continued on, only growing louder with each passing minute. Dimitri had gotten out of his seat, now arguing face-to-face with Sylvain. Felix watched the whole situation in amusement, while Annette, Mercedes, and Ashe tried to calm everyone down. Dedue had gotten up now, thinking it best to stand by Dimitri’s side in case he needed to break up a fight. Ingrid pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to think of the best way to rein in her friends with the least collateral damage. All the while, the rest of the dining hall watched the drama unfold in delight.

“Claude, you sneak, you went and spread that around, didn’t you!” Hilda giggled from her spot at the Golden Deer’s usual table, watching as the Blue Lions house continued their argument.

“But of course! I wanted to find the answer to the Blue Lion quandary.” Claude replied with a smirk.

“That quandary being?”

“The Blue Lions house is equally respectful and protective of their Professor. So, what happens when you put them in a situation that challenges both those qualities at once? The answer is the situation before you.” Claude finished, gesturing to the raucous argument before them.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to get out of here before things get any worse.” Hilda said, glancing nervously towards the Blue Lions.

“Suit yourself! You’re going to miss out on quite the show.” Claude replied with a wave.

As Hilda made her way out of the dining hall, she passed by Flayn, who was shocked to see her friends in the Blue Lions house arguing so viciously with each other. Without hesitation, she darted over to their table, determined to stop the argument. Or at the very least, help ease the tensions and calm everyone down.

“Felix! What on earth is going on here!” Flayn asked as she got to the table, seeing that Felix was one of the few who hadn’t joined into the argument in some way or another.

“Seteth and the Professor supposedly have a date today and everyone is losing their minds over it.” Felix replied, smirking as he watched Sylvain and Dimitri continue to loudly argue with each other.

“What? No, they do not. My big brother is meeting with the Professor to help her improve her wyvern riding skills.” Flayn said, cocking her head in confusion as the entire table froze.

“Have… I said something offensive?” Flayn asked, looking to everyone with a little blush of embarrassment.

“No, we just… Flayn, what do you mean?” Ingrid said carefully, trying to avoid any further confusion.

“My brother is a skilled Wyvern Rider; he has been for some time now! And his wyvern, Andromeda, is a very calm, sweet wyvern! She is often used to teach beginner wyvern riders how to properly tack their mounts, so you have no need to worry about the Professor’s safety.” Flayn explained with a little smile, watching for everyone’s reactions. “Does that ease everyone’s worries?”

“Yes, it actually does, Flayn. Thank you for explaining that to us.” Ingrid said, glad to see the tension begin to ease.

“It was no trouble at all! If I may, could I sit with you all for breakfast? The dining hall is oddly full this morning, and space is a bit limited.”

“It would be a pleasure. Thank you again, Flayn.” Dimitri said, glad to see her smile and nod.

“I believe I owe you an apology, Sylvain.” Dimitri offered, watching for Sylvain’s response. “Things didn’t need to get as heated as they did; I’ll admit I was a bit out of line.”

“Ah, it’s all good, Dimitri. I was a little out of line myself, so no hard feelings. Apology accepted.” Sylvain replied, giving him a smile.

“Goodness, the trouble a rumor can cause. Mercedes, where on earth did you hear that rumor to begin with?!” Dimitri asked as he sat back down, intending to finish his breakfast.

“Oh! Well, let’s see… I heard it from Dorothea, who heard it from Hubert, who heard it from Ferdinand, who heard it from Lorenz, who heard Claude talking about it all last night!” Mercedes explained, failing to notice Dimitri’s eyebrow twitch in annoyance.

“Ah, that would explain it. Well, if you’ll excuse me… CLAUDE!” Dimitri shouted as he rose from his seat and turned towards the Golden Deer’s table.

Everyone at the table froze, looking at the sight of a very grumpy Dimitri stalking towards their table and glaring down their house leader. Claude looked to his left and right before swallowing. He reached up his hand to scratch at the back of his neck nervously.

“C’mon, your princeliness, did you really believe that rumor to be the whole story?” Claude started, giving him a sheepish look. “Didn’t you ever learn the ‘believe none of what you hear and only half of what you read’ rule?”

“No. No, I did not. Now, do you have anything to say for yourself?” Dimitri asked, crossing his arms expectantly.

“Um… LOOK A DIVERSION!” Claude shouted, smacking one of the flower vases on the table to send water flying everywhere. The effect was instant: a mass of people moving out of the way of getting wet and confusion that served as the perfect escape.

“CLAUDE YOU GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT AND APOLOGIZE FOR THE TROUBLE YOU’VE CAUSED!” Dimitri cried, taking off after him.

“What on earth was that about?” Flayn asked as she took a seat next to Ingrid. Ingrid merely rolled her eyes.

“Just a normal Saturday, Flayn. Nothing to worry about.”

* * *

“Alright, the saddle and reins seem to be on properly… and Andromeda doesn’t seem stressed at all! I am impressed, Byleth. If I did not know any better, I would think this is not your first hands-on wyvern tacking.” Seteth said as he looked over the equipment on his wyvern, making doubly sure it was on properly.

“Thank you, Seteth. That means a lot, coming from you. So, would you say we’re ready for a flight?” Byleth asked while adjusting her armor for comfort.

“I wou-What on earth?” Seteth asked as he caught sight of Claude, seemingly running for his life from Dimitri, who was hot on his tail. “Should we stop them?”

“Hm? Stop who?” Byleth asked, looking up to see the students in question. Once she saw who it was, she chuckled in amusement.

“Oh, just leave them be. Claude needs to learn that actions have repercussions… what those actions were this week, though, I’m not certain. I _am_ certain he has it coming, though.” Byleth replied, unfazed by the student’s actions.

“If you say so…” Seteth muttered.

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fiasco of a fic was brought to you by the following interaction:
> 
> Friend: Oh, who’s the guy with the green hair? He seems interesting.  
Me: That’s Seteth! I had my unit marry him on my first playthrough. He’s a wyvern rider!  
Friend: Did she _ ride his wyvern?_  
Me, an oblivious Ace: Maybe? I’m sure if my unit asked nicely, he’d let her.  
Friend: //proceeds to lose their shit//


End file.
